You can"t always get what you want

 In many ways, my life has been similar to a Phillip Roth book or Rolling Stones song. 

I feel driven to accomplish or fix stuff. When things do not work out as expected, I become frustrated and outspoken. Twice this past week I have been told my style is offensive. One person called it "unprofessional" the other called me an "asshole'. They both felt very smug having shared their point of view. It really is irrelevant to me. I am not driven as a matter of choice. I can't change who I am and at 75, why try?

I spend time thinking. I ask myself and others around me, why is this happening? Most ignore me. Others don't know or don't care. Sebastian Maniscalco asks, in his standup routine: "Why would you do that?" I understand how he feels.

I have expectations about almost everything and everyone. 80% of the time I am disappointed. When this happens, I try to "fix" it by discussing my expectation. This leads to conflict or arguments. Surprise...people do not like to be told the truth.

So, how can I, or we, or anyone get what we want without being rude or blunt? This question has never been answered. Most people do not have the courage to say they are disappointed in service or products or the behavior of others. I have no problem saying I am disappointed. You are at a restaurant. The meal was not good. The server asks. "How was everything?" Do you tell them?

My bigger concern is that people around me, like friends and family, do not understand me or appreciate what I am trying to accomplish. We went on Vacation this summer. The resort sent an email saying welcome and how could they help us plan our trip. My wife, Pam, replied. She never heard back. Why would they send an email and then not respond? "Why would you do that?"

I emailed the General Manager and explained we were concerned that our trip was not going to be what we expected. I told him this happened once before at another resort. When we arrived. It was perfect. The staff know us all by name. We had a wonderful time. If we are not clear about our expectations or we accept shoddy service, who is to blame for our disappointment? My family did not complain about our perfect vacation. They also did not give me credit for holding the Resort accountable.

I do not know another way to get what we want. I only wish those around me understood and appreciated my effort.



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